In this episode of Invested in Connecting Women, host Olivia Hails welcomes Emily Lassiter – co-creator of The Wealth Edit – back for a conversation about how her own unexpected crisis led her to build a community dedicated to helping women achieve financial independence.

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Olivia Hails: On this episode of Investing in Connecting Women…

Emily Lassiter: I always tell people that I entered enter the financial industry through the basement of the back door. I mean, I had a weird way of entering the industry. And even if you’d asked me five years ago, I definitely would not have said I would be on this podcast.

Hails: Today, I really want to focus on Emily’s story and dig a little bit deeper into that. She’s a mother, she’s an advisor, she’s an advocate for female financial literacy…

I’m your host, Olivia Hails, and this is Invested in Connecting Women.

Alright, welcome back to the Invested in Connecting Women podcast. Today we are honored to be joined again for the second time with Emily Lassiter from Somerset Advisory and the co-founder of The Wealth Edit. So for those of you that listen to our Wealth Edit podcast, you got to know Lauren and Emily and a little bit about their story, especially Lauren’s story about how she built her business. But today, I really want to focus on Emily’s story and dig a little bit deeper into that. She’s a mother, she’s an advisor, she’s an advocate for female financial literacy. She’s got a lot going on and so I want to dig a little bit into that.

Lassiter: Well, thank you for having me. I’m excited to be back today. And so yes, I have an interesting … I always tell people that I entered enter the financial industry through the basement of the back door. I mean, I had a weird way of entering the industry. And even if you’d asked me five years ago, I definitely I would not have said I would be on this podcast talking about financial literacy. But I would have not even thought I would have been a financial advisor. So it’s been an interesting journey.

So I went to Auburn University, had a business major there, decided to go to law school, went to the University of Alabama and graduated. My husband was still in law school in Tuscaloosa so I took a job in Birmingham, so that’s how we ended up in Birmingham. Grew up in Montgomery, so it wasn’t a hard choice. But anyway, so I was here and practiced law for 15 years. And then almost eight years ago, that’s so hard to believe, but I lost my husband in a plane crash. He was an attorney as well, but loved to fly just as a hobby, and ran into some bad weather and crashed in Texas. And so, you know, obviously, an event like that is one of those things that’s, you know, everything that we had planned for and thought that would be our future just stopped. And so thankfully, I was able to stay at home with my girls for a few years. They were 7 and 9 at the time and I stayed at home with them for almost three years. I did some nonprofit work and things like that to keep me busy, but it was at the end of that three-year period that I thought, “Okay, I want to go back to work.” I love to work and I needed to make an income and have health insurance and all the things that make the world go round. So I knew that I did not want to practice law full-time as I had been, like in a traditional sense. I wanted to use my law degree, but I wanted to do something that was a little bit… brought more meaning to my life. You know, I had practiced law but, thankfully, with a husband, he was an attorney as well, I was able to … I kind of went back and forth. I did some part-time, I did some full-time, but I had a lot of flexibility there. But going back to work full-time, I knew, as an attorney in the traditional sense, would not be a great fit for my new single-mom status. So that’s where the journey began and how I ended up where I am today.

Hails: And you know, I appreciate you being willing to even share your story with us today because, you know, you say eight years – that’s really not that long of a time. So I know with your energy and where your passions have driven you today that, you know, it wasn’t always an easy journey. So I’m excited for you to share it. And because this podcast was created for women in all walks of life, and so I think it’s important that we talk to women in different walks of life. And something that I harp on, that my firm Janus Henderson harps on, and that I have conversations with almost on a daily basis of why I’m so passionate about women educating themselves in this business is for moments like the unexpected, that crisis that comes into your life that we don’t expect. So you know, and you experienced that at the age of 42 years old, which is, I would say a very prime time in a lot of people’s lives. You were a practicing attorney, you’ve got two young girls. So with that, this three years, just for those that may be have experienced the same thing or you know, I guess tell me a little bit more about what those three years were and what got you through them. Because I know from someone that I’ve talked to, it’s their support system. Before you’re … you can’t just become a financial advisor three years later. There’s a lot of stuff that happened emotionally, probably physically, mentally in that three years that I think we can all learn from.

Lassiter: Yes, so you know, it’s interesting when I look back. Eight years does seem like a long time and it does feel like a lifetime ago. But it also feels it was yesterday. You know, it’s one of those weird experiences where you know, I feel like, “Wow, I’ve come a long way in those eight years.” But then also, I think, “Where am I?” sometimes. You know, like what’s happened to my life that I … And so there’s a constant balance of that just pushing forward, but we’re still remembering where I came from. And those first three years, I can also look back and say it was some of the hardest time of my life, but definitely some of the sweetest as well. And I do think that one of the things that really helped me actually, I can think of several things, but probably the top two things that helped me was, one, my community, and I was surrounded by people who wanted to help. So anybody that is going through something like this, my word of advice is to allow people to help you because, in doing so, they become invested in your life, and I just needed the help and so I allowed people to do it. And now, you know, it just created this really, really strong support system of obviously my family, but friends, and sometimes I have this running list. This is such a weird thing to say, but I have this running list of people that have shown up and helped that I have been surprised by, not because I didn’t think they were nice people, but there’s just some people that maybe I wasn’t that close to or had a very fringe involvement in my and Joe’s life, that I think to myself, “I can’t wait to tell him that this person helped me with this once a month for like four years.” Because nobody … I mean, we would have never seen it coming, you know. And so it’s a sweet thing because you get to see sides of people that you wouldn’t get to see otherwise.

But one of the things that happened because of that was I allowed people into my life, to be a part of our healing and to help. But in turn, they started bringing other people into my life. So, other people who had been through similar circumstances, and I was connected with them and that was just a huge point of support and encouragement. And you know, you see somebody that’s been through something like you’ve been through and all you need to do is see that they’re up and dressed and having lunch with their friends. Like, okay, maybe life can return to normal. And so then they’re probably, you know, maybe right around that three-year mark, it flipped for me. All of a sudden, I was being asked to go talk to a new widow or somebody who had recently been divorced who was trying to start over. And so honestly, it is that right there that led me to become a financial advisor. Because I started talking to these women and, having a legal background, I would go through, you know, maybe the divorce decree or things, and help them walk through, “How do I think through this? How am I going to make sure that I’m doing everything that I’m supposed to do?” And then, you know, “Are the terms favorable?” Or, with a widow, you know, unraveling somebody’s life and going from a dual income to a single income and all, that is a lot.

Hails: Especially if you haven’t prepared for it or you don’t know what’s on the other side.

Lassiter: Yes, absolutely not. And I mean, even … it oftentimes, when we meet with widows now, they’ll come every two weeks and then we’ll move to a month. But a lot of it’s just keeping people on track. It’s just so many steps. You know, it’s just, it’s a lot to keep up with. And so I was just talking to women through that. And my dad is a financial advisor and he had walked me through things so well and had explained it along the way. Even at that point, before I was an advisor, I could help other people. And so that was where this all started. And it was just from those conversations that I found, wow, there’s a huge knowledge gap for most people. And not only do they not really understand the basics and fundamentals of investing and finance and things like that, but they were having a very hard time taking what they had and translating that into, practically speaking, “What does that mean? Do I have to sell my house? Do I have to go back to work? Can I afford to keep my kids at private school?” You know, things like that. And so I began seeing there was this fear to do anything because they didn’t understand their finances. And there was a fear about going back to work because they felt like they would never be able to make what they needed to make or, you know, there was just a lot of limiting beliefs, but it was all around this one thing. And so I started just digging in there because I thought these women, if they could just see from a financial standpoint, like, here are your goals. These are the things. Because as women, we’re going to rise to the occasion, especially if our kids are involved. We’re like, if we are going to provide for them, we’re going to provide for them, you know. We’ll find a way.

And so I started digging into that and that’s when I began asking them, “What does your financial advisor do? Do you have one?” And then, if you do, why are they not helping you think through these things? And that’s when I realized for the first time that not all financial advisors are the same. You know, there’s so many different types. They all serve a different purpose. I mean, there’s a lot of different people out there that need a lot of different things, and what I found was, there wasn’t somebody that I could find immediately. Now, I started digging around and I found a lot now, but at first, I was trying to … I thought, “Who’s serving women like they need to be served?” Especially women that have gone through a death or divorce or are trying to, you know, reinvent themselves, for lack of a better term? Like, how do I, you know … I really want to go back to work. I’m an empty nester. How do I think through that? And so I began talking to advisors and trying to find somebody to refer all these women to that I was talking to. And I’m not kidding when I say, I bet you, I could have had at least a lunch or a coffee or a dinner with somebody four times a week. That’s how many women want to connect with other women that are going through similar things. So it was really neat to watch that develop. But when I started talking to these advisors and telling them what I wanted, they began offering me jobs. Which was funny because, I thought, “What in the world? No, no thank you.” And then I started really listening to them, really on the third time, I was like, “Okay, this must be a real thing. They really must need women advisors.”

Hails: There’s a spark here. There’s something there.

Lassiter: Yes, I was just like, “Wow, if three people have offered me jobs, pretty much on the spot, why?” You know, and it made me realize that it’s because the industry needs more women as advisors. And each of these groups, even though they were all very, very different in the way they served, they want more women in the industry and they wanted to serve widows and women well and were humble enough to say, “We need help,” you know. And so I felt like that was really encouraging.

Hails: So I’m going to unpack a lot of this. So, back to what you said, who helped you the most to get through this time in your life. And I’ve heard you say before in the past, that big life events are really the things that give you perspective in life and oftentimes a very new perspective in life. So just listening to you now, I’m like, it’s that community. Yes, you had really good friends and family to support you, to be there for you and the girls. But then what helped you really get yourself, or new self, to accept that that was a new life, get that back, was people who had experienced the same thing that you had been through or something similar, something that you could almost instantly relate to or have some kind of level of connection and trust with. At least from what it sounds like, it’s those people that you just almost have that instantaneous trust with. So how do you put that into … now that you are a financial advisor, like, in the community, are there people that you can bring into that as advocates or are there other financial advisors? I guess kind of what I’m trying to say is, it’s those people that you can relate with the most, right? That really helped you get through a time like that. And we do need more advisors in our business that can help with that. So how does that, I don’t know if that makes any sense to you…

Lassiter: No, it definitely does.

Hails: I’m putting these pieces together as you’re talking of, okay … if I’m an advisor and I’m trying to really figure out how to help women in transition, what do I need to clue into?

Lassiter: That’s a great question, actually. You know, so on our last interview, we talked about The Wealth Edit and The Wealth Edit is my attempt to provide for that with women. And Lauren and I, it’s interesting, we come from a very similar heart for serving women, but we have different backgrounds. But what we found was, even women who are entrepreneurs and who’ve not had a significant life event but they’re trying to build a business, they also want community. And it’s like the overarching theme with women is that we do better when we’re in a strong community supporting one another. And that’s what I found was, but you have to lean into it. And so for us, it’s harder than you may think to build community. And so when I was interviewing with all these people, of course, everybody just kept saying, “You need to talk to Lauren. She’s got a similar passion for serving women.” And so I had a hard time. One of the things that I had a hard time with was I felt like maybe I should do something that’s like a nonprofit or ministry where I was serving women. And then, because what I was doing was, I was talking to a lot of women who didn’t have the money to hire an advisor. And I didn’t really like pigeonholing myself because I thought, “I just want to be able to help all these women regardless of their socioeconomic background.” Because oftentimes, the ones that don’t have anything are the ones that need it the most, and just that education and, like, how do I balance that? And when Lauren and I started talking, I didn’t … well, The Wealth Edit wasn’t even discussed. But then finally, when she offered me the job, she said, “And the one thing that I want to tell you is about The Wealth Edit. This is my idea and I’d love for you to join me and do this together. And I mean, that was the clicking moment because I was like, “That’s our pathway to building community across the board.” We can offer it to our clients who can then join in and learn together and learn from other women and we can also offer it at an affordable price so women – all women – can join.

Hails: Yes, it’s like taking the cycle of life, if you will, and then turning it into a community that solves a need. A true need because, you know, as we said earlier, most women, if they’re not in the business, it’s too intimidating for them. There’s a misconception that, “Well, I don’t have enough money for a financial advisor.” But a lot of it’s, to what you were talking about earlier, of just life advice like, “Well, can I leave my job and start a business? Can I afford private school for the kids? Can we do this?” It’s so many different life decisions, which is why I love how you run your practice as a very holistic thing. So yes, you’re right, The Wealth Edit, is in fact that community that you’ve now created for people’s experience, something that you are going through, which is so incredible. So I love seeing that grow because, yes, you’ve brought the solution to other people.

Lassiter: Well, and I’ll say, The Wealth Edit brings me as much, I mean … I’m constantly learning all the time. And so hearing other women’s stories really, it takes away that intimidation factor and it also just opens your minds to the possibilities. You know, when you hear that, “Oh, she did that,” like, “I think I could probably do that, I have a similar background,” or whatever it is. It just takes that spark. But I will say it’s communities that allow it to be. And I see that as a common problem. Sometimes women are, whether it be intimidation or embarrassment, money’s hard to talk about. I mean, it’s very, I think a lot of women feel like, “I would just die if somebody really knew how bad my finances are or that I have debt.” You know, we had somebody the other day say, “I’m so embarrassed. I have debt.” And we were like, “So do almost all of America.” Like, you know, it’s okay, it’s a problem that can be solved for. There’s, you know, thousands of resources out there that are dedicated to just this for a reason. You know, but it’s getting over this shame or embarrassment or intimidation or just limiting beliefs.

But what we have found is that … and this is true in my personal life with talking to other women and The Wealth Edit and Somerset, our advisory group … it is allowing yourself to be vulnerable to join the community. You have to do that. And sometimes that’s the hardest part. I haven’t solved for that yet, but you know, I think just as more and more women come on and share their story and are vulnerable, I hope it’s just like a magnet to other women to be able to come on and do the same thing.

Hails: And it’s, I mean it’s … money is the easiest thing to be out of sight, out of mind. And it’s one of those things where it’s not a tangible right in front of you, per se. Obviously, it can lead to lots of tangible things, but in terms of the way we think about it and perceive it, I don’t think that enough people really come to terms like, “What is my connection with money and can I face that in the mirror and then do what I need to do, positive or negative, to really embrace that and make it a big part of my life?” Because it can just open so many doors or close a lot of doors in a lot of ways. So looking back to, let’s say, your 42-year-old self and your relationship and dynamic with your late husband, is there anything that you would look back at your life and say, “I should have been more involved? I should have known this?” Or with a financial advisor as a father and an attorney, you know, two attorneys together, this crisis, this tragedy, is unexpected. That’s what makes it so hard, is that life just has to change. You may not want it to. So looking back at that, is there anything that you would have maybe gone out on a limb to educate yourself on more, or?

Lassiter: Oh my goodness, absolutely. But one thing that I obviously … I was blown away by the lack of knowledge that I had. Being aware of what you spend and paying the bills is one thing and we all need to do that. And it’s shocking, the number of people that don’t really even know how much they spend. That happens all the time, myself included. There are some times we just get so busy, and I look back over the month and I’m like, “What did we even spend?” I mean, much less have no time to itemize it and figure it out. Being the head of the household and responsible for all of your financial decisions and what the future holds on your own is a lot to bear. And one thing that I have found, it has made me much, much more empathetic to the males in our lives that bear that burden alone. And so if I could say anything to women, it is to … if you are married, to join in that with your spouse to help them because it is incredibly overwhelming. And so you want to have somebody by your side that also is understanding what’s going on, as a sounding board, can help. I mean, I think back, I was definitely the more detailed one in our relationship. Why was I not doing it? I also had a background with a parent who was really good at this and I should have been saying, “You know what? Let me take the lead on this.” But I wasn’t the one that was doing that. I was like, “Oh, he’s the male and this is what he’s supposed to do and he’s got it all figured out.” And I was the better person to do the job. And I wish I had said that. But I didn’t know that it was okay to say that. And I bet if I had said that, he would have been like, “Oh, thank you. Please, take it all, take it all.” And you know, then I think, for spending, I would have definitely had a different mindset there if I was handling it all because that was the one doing most of the spending. And so I think that’s where we sometimes, as women, is that we think it’s going to be taken as being critical, whereas really, I think they would be so relieved. And then as a single woman, and in talking to other single women, it’s just acknowledging that it’s hard and that we’re going to make mistakes. But it’s like, it’s just a slow and steady work towards, “Okay, I have at least done this one good thing this week and now next week, I’m going to do one more thing.” You know, it’s not an overnight thing. But also, obviously, it helps in that tragedy, in that moment of tragedy where you’re … if you are already aware of what you have and why you have it and where it is and what happens in a time like that. It takes away a ton of anxiety. And I think, I mean it also takes away a ton of anxiety in a married life because if you can realistically look at your situation and know what it is, you know, you think about, I know that I have a lot of friends that are worried about money when they probably don’t even need to be.

And single women, too. I mean they just don’t have somebody that’s looked at them and said, “You’re going to be okay.” Like, as long as you don’t spend over this, you really, like 95% are going be okay. And just allowing to just rest in that. So, but I do say that all the time. I’m like, “Let’s be kind to our male counterparts in life, or partners in life. Just say, ‘I want to help you. I’m not being critical, but I want to help because I can.'”

Hails: And that educational component does not have to be an intimidating one.

Lassiter: Oh, no.

Hails: Because going through the CFP curriculum and stuff, I want to tell so many different people, I’m like, there are amazing professionals in this business, but there are still things that we have to look up every day in an encyclopedia because this society does not make this easy in terms of tax planning, estate planning, max accumulation, best ways to save, money to move around in certain aspects, proper savings techniques and where to keep it, and now you’ve got everything with Robin Hood and everything in your face about what to do and how to invest. It’s overwhelming. It can be a lot for anybody, male or female. But you know, I don’t know why we haven’t quite gotten there yet in terms of our interest being piqued enough to say, “Okay, let me come in and help you and champion,” or, “Let me take the reins or let me be the one that is providing the education.”

Lassiter: It gives me so much hope when I’m working with women who are going through some pretty significant life changes, that don’t feel like they can do it, and they can. I mean it’s so neat to watch these women that will come in that are broken and feel powerless to do anything and then to watch them just making those sacrifices and those choices. Yes, it’s getting them on the right path financially. But what it does to their personality is, it’s like they are blooming.

It’s a freedom. There’s confidence that’s coming out there. They’re like different people, you know, and it’s not just about the money, you know? And you just realize that, as women, wealth is so much more than just accumulating assets. It’s learning our own self-worth. It’s putting ourselves out there in uncomfortable situations and being shocked that we did it. I mean, I feel like that, sometimes I’m like, “I never would have thought I would be doing what I’m doing today.” And as crazy as it sounds and where it came from, because it was something that was so horrible, now I look back and I can look back on these last eight years and say, “I’m truly thankful for who I’ve become.” And I wonder often what would I look like now if my husband hadn’t died? Now I say that very carefully because, obviously, I would take it back in a second and I would gladly love to see who I would be otherwise. But there’s some really great things that have come out of it for me personally. And I love that because there is beauty from the ashes. You know, there is. And so anyway, I love working with women and I enjoy working with my kids and talking to them about these things because I have at least that foresight to see, “This helps so much more than money.”

Hails: Yes, and you’ve taken, you know, hopefully what will be the most difficult time of your life and you’ve embraced the … you know, gotten through the grief, the pain, and then embraced the change. And now, not only are you doing well for yourself, for your girls, but you’ve created a community for women who probably would have never found that motivation to educate themselves. And that community is expanding every day and it’s just by being genuine and by making it not intimidating and just saying, “Look, we’re a community. Let’s share our stories.” The whole reason I love this podcast, is it has opened up so many stories of women telling me their stories. And it’s just incredible what we’ve all been through. It’s all different, but there’s so many lessons that can be taken away from all these different experiences that are similar in nature. And so I just love what you’re doing with The Wealth Edit and just your reach of, you know, “Here’s my story and here’s what I learned from it.” And it’s so hard to be emotionally vulnerable and then translate that into the … just champion it the way you have, to make your life what it is because you’re helping not just yourself, but a lot of women. And I hope that expands. I’m going to do whatever I can to make that continue to expand, of just creating these communities and helping women at large, because knowledge is power. I believe that in so many different aspects of life. And your story is definitely one that is a good motivator for maybe people that haven’t been able to find that light of what’s next.

Lassiter: Well, thank you for letting me share. And it’s funny, every time I share, it’s like I’m a little bit reinvigorated for what I’m doing. You know, you’re like, “Oh, this is … yes, that’s exactly why.” You know, it causes me to stop and look back, and it’s encouraging to see how far I’ve come, but then also to think back on all the other women and how far they’ve come. So thank you for letting me share.

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