I recently had the honor of attending an International Women’s Day event and was inspired by the incredible accomplishments of the many women in attendance. I was particularly impressed by the keynote speaker, Ellen Ochoa, Ph.D., a Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient and the first Latina astronaut in space. She shared her journey to space flight, including becoming director of NASA’s Johnson Space Center, where she transformed the company culture to welcome diverse voices.

We dedicate one day each year to celebrate women internationally, and we commemorate women’s history during March in the U.S. But this event got me thinking: What if women were a focus the entire year, particularly for financial professionals? How can we, as an industry, accelerate action – the theme for this year’s International Women’s Day?

Taking this theme to heart can go a long way toward deepening your relationships with female clients. And strengthening those relationships is of critical importance: A new study by New York Life Investments’ Advisor Advancement Institute reveals that women are more likely than ever to fire their male financial advisor – with more than a third citing a lack of personal connection as the reason for severing the relationship.¹

In this article, I outline three critical skills to focus on to elevate your connection with female clients. But before I share those skills, I want to emphasize how strengthening them is not only beneficial for women investors, but critical to the growth of your practice as well.

Women are gaining wealth and influence

According to research from McKinsey, by 2030, roughly two-thirds of private wealth in the U.S. will be held by women.² Clearly, engaging and retaining female clients presents a significant opportunity for the future growth of your business.

It’s also important to realize that female clients have the potential to be your biggest ambassadors when it comes to referrals. Research shows that when women are happy with their financial advisor’s services, they make an average of 26 referrals over their lifetime to that advisor, compared with just 11 by typical male clients.³

The question is, how are financial advisors working to engage female investors? While helping clients achieve their investment goals is important, many advisors do not take adequate time to understand women’s unique needs, wants, and values. Focusing on these important elements and how they tie to clients’ investment goals will not only help elevate your conversations with female clients, but also create raving ambassadors for your practice.

Here are the skills to cultivate so you can do just that.

Building rapport and trust

Let me paint a hypothetical scenario: Your female client comes to your office, and her husband of two decades has recently passed away. You take a few minutes to express your condolences, and then you jump into the numbers.

Now, keep in mind that your client has been surrounded by friends and family following her spouse’s passing, and they are giving her advice on a lot of things – including suggesting that she meet with their financial advisor.

So, on the recommendation of her support network, your client goes and meets with this individual, and the experience is very different: This new advisor first wants to hear her story and understand her goals, and then breaks everything she needs to do from a financial and investing perspective down into small, manageable steps.

Now consider the fact that 70% of widows leave their financial professional within one year of the death of their spouse.⁴ If you don’t take the time to handle these situations with care, you risk becoming part of that statistic.

Providing a platform for women to share their story goes a long way toward helping them feel heard. And if female clients are not comfortable sharing right away, advisors can build trust by showing their own vulnerable side first. For example, an advisor might reveal how witnessing the financial struggles of a loved one led them to seek a career in this industry.

The power of active listening

Connecting with your female clients means not only creating an environment where they can openly share their story, but also one where you’re dialed in to what they’re communicating through verbal and nonverbal cues. This is important, because one of the common complaints women have about our industry is that they don’t feel they are being listened to by financial professionals.

How can we change that perception? It begins with considering your female clients’ context, identity, environment, experiences, values, and beliefs so that they feel heard.

There is a simple test you can employ to determine if you are an active listener. The next time you’re having a discussion with a client, a colleague, or your spouse, pay attention to whether you are framing a response in your head while that person is speaking. If you are already planning what you are going to say next, it makes it much more difficult to really listen.

Another problem is that we often listen to understand, which is more about listening to confirm what you already know (or think you know). Listening to connect is about focusing your full attention on the other person. This type of active listening shows respect, empathy, and curiosity for the speaker. It also helps you learn more about their perspective, needs, and emotions.

Practicing empathy

When working with female clients, it’s critical to think beyond investments to truly understand their needs. That can be accomplished partly through the active listening skills we just discussed. To take it a step further, we must practice empathy.

People will often confuse sympathy with empathy. For example:

• Sympathy: “I am sorry about the loss of your spouse.”
• Empathy: “Losing a spouse is difficult, and having lost loved ones myself, I know what that loss feels like. Please know I’m here to support you with whatever you need.”

Empathy, or the ability to “walk in her shoes,” means truly understanding where your female clients are coming from to connect with them on a deeper level.

You may be familiar with Sheryl Sandberg, the former COO of Facebook and author of the book Lean In. She lost her husband suddenly while on a family vacation in Mexico, and several months later, she posted an open letter on Facebook. What she said about empathy really stuck with me: “Real empathy is sometimes not insisting it will be okay but acknowledging that it’s not.”

To practice empathy with clients, reflect on a time when you felt supported by someone in your life. What did they say that made you feel most supported? Was it that they showered you with recommendations on what steps you should take next? Did they communicate how sorry they felt for you? Or were they simply present with you and let you know they were there for you?

Achieving transformation by accelerating action

I mentioned at the start of this piece how impressed I was with the keynote speaker at the International Women’s Day event. Dr. Ochoa was able to transform the culture at NASA’s Johnson Space Center by taking decisive action. And I firmly believe we have the same ability as financial professionals to transform our interactions with women investors.

By cultivating the skills I’ve outlined here, we can accelerate action – for our female clients taking control of their financial futures, for the growth of our business, and for the future direction of our industry.